Deep Breath....

It's about 11:30 on March 29th...we were leaving for the hospital right about now to bring home our baby boy. Contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart. Eli was with Granny sleeping innocently. It was a rainy night. We were so excited...our bliss was about to be revoked. Our hearts broken. Our faith tested. Our psyche challenged. Our lives changed forever.

A year later I don't feel like much has been accomplished in the past 12 months. But I know better. I don't know how we have gotten up each day 'acted the part' God assigned to us. But we have. I don't know what our lives would be like if AJ was here. But that's ok?

In a heartbeat

A year ago was the last time I heard AJ's heart beating. It sounded like galloping horses - it was the most beautiful sound. I remember Dr. Peters specifically stopping to marvel at the sound.

I believe that AJ's heart stopped beating and his spirit left my body sometime in the early morning hours of March 27th. I woke up just not feeling right - went to the bathroom, but nothing too abnormal. I just never felt the same again - and I never will.