Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Empty Seat

Three bald-headed babies sat before me today
in the red & white stripped cart.
The fourth seat was empty where AJ would sit,
my heart sunk as I then fell apart.

Each of the boys smiling and looking
for a friendly face to study and stare.
But all I could do was well up with tears
because AJ just wasn't there.

The seat belt was buckled perfectly straight,
on the back row with seating for four.
Brandon and Ben and Dalton
all smiled and giggled innocently more.

I did all I could to stand there and smile,
praying each moment for strength.
Wanting to run away, scream and cry,
my cross reminding me of it's weight.

Don't get me wrong, I would never trade my cross
nor lay it down on the side,
Nor pray for a shorter cross to carry
for it is why He died.

It isn't easy to keep perspective
when grief and pain come in the door.
Sometime it feels like you're buried alive
and you simply can't take any more.

That is when a good friend calls to laugh,
to remind you of your purpose on earth.
The words "it will all be ok",
the human response to give it all worth.

So for now I will carry on,
daily seeing that empty seat.
Imagining all of the fun we'd of had
and waiting until we meet.

Days pass and we exist because that is what we are "supposed" to do. God provides the rest. May you never have to see an empty seat where someone you love doesn't sit. Never ask God for a shorter cross - He knew which cross you would carry before you were born. Ask God to help you carry, to give you peace, to catch your tears. Peace and blessings to all.

1 comments:

r_is_moody said...

Amber, Hi I'm Rian. I was at the MEND meeting last night. It was really nice to hear all the good advice you had to give. I am so sorry for your loss. But truly amazed at how strong and faithful you have been.