I walked out this morning to be greeted by a beautiful rainbow adorning the sky. Vibrant colors staring down as if to say - "look at me in all my beauty". I ran back in the house and grabbed the camera to capture this moment. The early morning showers and beautiful sunrise provided the ideal setting for this wonderful treat. I snapped a few shots and jumped in the car.
Driving in to the office, the sun to my rear bumper, the dark clouds in the western sky were the perfect back drop to marvel in the beautiful work of God. The shadows that were cast upon the trees by the morning sun made it all look like a painting, and I was driving right into the picture. There in the wind flew the beautiful red, white and blue, reminding me of how blessed we are to live in a country that doesn't kill babies because they are the wrong sex, that I don't have to face religious persecution on a daily basis, that life - each day - is a gift.
I was listening to the Journey (91.7) as I usually do on my way in for my daily inspiration. But today - my inspiration was so much more. I found myself wondering if heaven will be this beautiful? Will I even care once I get there as long as I can hold my son again. A song came on as Tom Dooley wound the session down titled "New Day" by Joy Williams. I drove and cried - and cried and drove. Then it hit me - today is July 30th....AJ would have been 16 months old today. (( I later found out that Al & Eli saw the same rainbow and it hit Al just the same as it did me. :) It's nice when we meet in the middle of the grief cycle if even for a minute.))
Could it be that God knew I needed to see that beautiful rainbow today and hear that specific song? In the midst of infertility, a sick living child, and a dead baby - was He reminding me to hope? Hope in the promises He so clearly makes to us? Hope that this time on earth is but a temporary stop? Hope that joy will come in the morning...
