Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Big 6 M

Today we hit the 6 month mark. To a great extent - part of me stays numb, but God's strength or grace keeps me's not me. A lot like the 5 month post, I should be writing about how AJ is crawling and pulling up, eating new things and how much he is different than his brother. About how wonderful of a big brother Eli is and how much we can't imagine our lives without our two boys.

Well at 6 months, we can't imagine our lives without our two boys. Eli is so smart and funny. Loves all the things that little boys love and he is ALL BOY!! He is such a blessing! And AJ - well he is brilliant! He is a constant reminder of how blessed we are to be human and experience life. God chose us for such a divine purpose and now holds part of our purpose in His hand. We might have lived our lives for 60 years never understanding or being enlightened with how precious life and love is. So many people around us take for granted the simplest of things.

I have found myself driving different routes to and from work just to simply find something new to appreciate each day. To see a man watering his lawn, birds flying amongst the cars at the stop light, discovering a new street I never knew existed. Without AJ - I might have never driven that road or looked up to see the birds frolicking in the morning sun. My heart may never have opened to some - and closed to others. I tend to observe more and worry less...worry for what when I really have NO control.

A day doesn't go by without a moment in which the core of my being doesn't hurt. In which the magnitude of what we are enduring doesn't present it's self in some fashion and I am reminded that I am to be still.

2007 has been a VERY hard year for so many people around me. I am thankful that I can look ahead to what 2008 might hold for us all. 6 months ago I couldn't see past the end of my nose. 6 months ago I was reminded how small I am in this world and how all things are in His control. 6 months ago our hearts were broken, but our lives were blessed.