Monday, December 17, 2007

Instant Gratification

I don't know about you, but I am all about instant gratification. When we buy something, we want it now (probably why I don't shop online often). When we make something to eat, we want to eat it now. And when you carry a baby for 39 weeks, you want to hold that baby until he/she absolutely wont let you hold them anymore. As a mother, I don't know if that feeling of never wanting to let go of your child ever goes away completely...but going to college with your mother around your leg isn't so cool...and I get that!

In two weeks, AJ will be 9 months old. I so wish I could hold him. The pain is quite unbearable actually. I went to visit with Jen and Sawyer the other night on the way home...Sawyer and AJ are only one month apart...and I just hurt for AJ not being here. Sawyer was so fun and cute - I am so blessed to have him in my life as a reminder and mile marker. But OMG it hurts so bad!! The boys should be playing buds like we had planned. This is not the picture I painted in my mind. Not the class I signed up for. Not the way it's supposed to be....