Over the past year I have seen "AJ" everywhere. We watch Fox news every morning. Right after AJ died, a new news reporter named Adrian joined the morning news. I have seen "AJ" as the name of businesses, on the rear window of cars driving down the street, the designated number on semi-truck passing us by, the name of the sales clerk at JC Penny's, as the name of the boy with his dad at Gamestop as we bought our first Wii game with Eli, yesterday on the court TV show while I ate lunch and then this morning on the bottom of the perfectly white bag that our breakfast came in, I looked up to see the initials AJ.
I firmly believe that those things are not simple coincidences or that I notice them only because he is all I can think of, but rather that it's God's will placing those reminders in our path. If I was not in that exact place at that exact moment, I would never see those reminders. I would not be blessed by such a seemingly insignificant thing to anyone else, but to me it's a reminder of my sweet baby boy and what is missing in our lives.
Yesterday we got a "Happy 1st Birthday" party planning guide from Toys R Us. It hurt so bad to be 'in my face' that he is not here to plan a party for. Sometimes when we get mail like that it doesn't bother me, others I just want to call and yell at someone for not knowing that our baby died and why are they sending us stuff. 100% of the time, despite the knee jerk reaction, file 13 is where it all ends up.
I believe in signs. God driven signs that guide us, remind us, encourage us. I believe in the higher power that has great plans for us. I trust...do you believe?
Today's verse: Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you. ~~ Psalm 9:10
Hit And Operate Accidents
3 years ago
1 comments:
Hi Broken-but-Blessed,
I'm new to this blogging thing. So forgive me if I don't do it right.
Today I was reading Mark and Luke in the Bible. I was reminded to practice what I hear God saying. I recently learned about blogging. I'm older so this is new for me. I felt like looking up blogs for mothers who lost a baby like me.
Nearly 10 years ago, I lost a perfect baby girl at 32 weeks. It was a sudden shock too. I went to the Dr office for a regular check-up and there was no heartbeat.
I grieved for 2 1/2 years. I remember crying out to God, "Redeem everything! Redeem the day, the hour, the moment."
I do believe God redeems everything. I did have another girl, Jessica. So much was redeemed.
I wrote stories about my grief journey and scrapbooked them. Blogs weren't really around then. I'm thinking about setting up a blog with my story to encourage and to comfort moms who have lost a baby.
Peace be with you,
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