How did I get here?

Growing up with a single mother, one of three children - middle child at that, was not easy. But you would have never known it. My mother worked 2-3 jobs, 5 when you included the jobs of being mom AND dad. I can't ever remember "wanting" for something I didn't have, because she did everything in her power to provide for our every want, need and desire. Sure, I didn't wear 'Guess' jeans or have the latest or greatest leg warmers (80's child!), but I had what all those kids who had that 'stuff' didn't have. I had a mom that taught us the difference between right and wrong. She taught us it is ok to be different - we were special without the fashion and popularity. She taught us we could accomplish absolutely anything we set our mind to - the only limits we have are those which we place on ourselves. She taught us, by example, that God will always be there to sustain us when all of the worldly possessions and people fail you.

I can't imagine walking this path in my life without God. Without knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the day I die, I will be reunited with AJ and all those loved ones that go before us. Without knowing! that I will see my savior's face and be in total awe at how blessed I have been to walk with him, have him as my protector and guide through this now current 'hell' that I think I am living. He guides my way daily, gives me strength to get out of bed and face this cruel world, teaches me compassion first hand so that I may be a comfort to at least one other person in this world.

I know there is nothing I can do to bring back my baby. And likewise, I know that God has left me here for a purpose. I will be AJ's voice. I will follow His will for my life. I will do as I am asked - because He first loved me and gave me the gift of grace. Because MY mother taught me the importance of faith - not religion. Because she taught me forgiveness, difference, kindness, dedication, compassion, creativity, humility and love - all Father filtered.