Have you ever been so thankful that you cry in amazement of God's blessings in your life? As I sit here I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am blessed with an amazing husband and fabulous sons, a home, a car, a good job, wonderful family and friends.
True thanksgiving is being able to see what God has taken away from you and remaining thankful for it.
This year I don't feel much like celebrating the holidays yet. AJ not being here is hitting HARD this year. I don't want to sit around a table on Thursday and have him left out as family talk about what they are thankful for. I don't want to wrap presents for Christmas and not be able to wrap for him.
Maybe it's hitting hard because we have Alex here to see all of that which we missed with AJ. Alex is a joy and we see how happy Eli is being a big brother. He is so amazing with Alex...watches him and protects him. Talks to him and they sit together watching TV or playing on the floor. I guess it makes us sad that Eli had to wait 2 extra years to be able to play with a brother.
I wonder if Eli will resent us for not taking him to the hospital to hold AJ...or would it have been too much for a 2 1/2 year old to take in? He asks so many questions that we can't answer sometimes. Some questions we don't have answers to! As always...it's just one day at a time...one prayer at a time!
18 Years.
5 months ago
