Gifts...

Tonight was the annual MEND Christmas Candle Light Ceremony. It was a beautiful service. Rebekah, the founder of MEND, spoke about gifts. I think everyone likes to receive gifts, but sometimes the gift we receive is not what we think we are getting or what we think we ought to have...but yet we wouldn't return it or exchange it for anything.

The gift of compassion is one of the greatest gifts we too have received from AJ's life. Heartfelt empathy for others going through rough times. I look back over the last 8 months and can't really tell you what I've done. So much of the time is a blur and some I can't even recall. But one thing I can recall over the last 8 months are the new friends we have met through MEND and what a true blessed gift they are to our lives. To share the hurt with others, to hurt for them as they hurt for you. A strange, yet simple, yet absolutely great gift.

More About Thanksgiving...

I was so exhausted and emotionally depleted when I posted my Thanksgiving blog that I didn't include one of the most amazing things that happened. It SNOWED!!! For those who may just be joining our story (read early posts from April) - we feel snow is AJ visiting to remind us he is with us and God's way of reminding us He has it all under control.

Eli was so excited - I was crying and daddy was working the camera. Eli says, "Mommy - can we call AJ and tell him thank you for the snow?" It was the cutest thing ever!!!! In the midst of sadness and straight-up heartache for AJ not being here on Thanksgiving, God answered the cries and prayers to carry us through the day with snow!! Amazing!

I've been feeling really down for about the last two weeks...I guess it's just the holidays??? Friday AJ will be 8 months old...the past 8 months seem so blurred and unreal. I feel like at some point I will get to wake up and it will all be ok. But I won't...and it won't. Some MEND people say that the one year mark makes a difference...I suppose we will see. For now, I will appreciate the little things like snow, pray my feet will hit the floor each day, and endure moment by moment the life we have been given to live.