Sunday, June 24, 2007


"I'm sorry for your loss"...what does that mean really?

Instead of being sad, we should be rejoicing in God's trust in us. When someone dies there is a peace that they are in a better place. We are selfish-sad and then we find peace. But when we lose our child, our outlook is so different. Why?

It can't be because we never got to know our child? Any mother can tell you that from the day you knew your were pregnant, you know the mannerisms of your child...troublemaker, gentle, easy going, active, smart, likes music, likes being read to, sleeper. AJ was a smart, gentle, easy going, music lover. He never caused any trouble, but he was a kinda picky eater...loved his fruits and veggies and limeades!!

All creatures of God are beautiful - He made man in His image. Even if we were never blessed to lay eyes on AJ, we knew he was beautiful (the Bible tells us so).

God allowed us to see our fully formed perfect son to show us what perfection is. Perfection that will last our lifetime - he will never get in trouble, he will never hurt our feelings, he will never break our hearts. While we are selfish and human, and would prefer to see all of AJ's firsts and even live through his disappointments in life, he fulfilled his purpose without the daily struggles and pain that we go through in this world.

With the loss of our child, God knows that a part of us is gone too. We cry. We hurt. We are sad. We lost, but look what we angel watching us each day, deeper understanding and appreciation for life, urgency to live life to the fullest, peace that can only come from God and above all God's trust that we will not fail Him to carry out His purpose.

Instead of saying "I'm sorry for your loss" to other families going through the loss of their child, I think I will now say, "Congratulations - I am sad for your loss. However, God has blessed you in a way that is incomprehensible to you or me. Believe in His greatness, surrender and let Him show you the way."